Interview with one of the biggest proponents of the delicious wonder-fruit, Angel Song of the Inland Empire.
Kevin:
I noticed that you eat watermelon with a fork…is that a Southern California cultural practice?
Angel:
Nope. It’s too hot, I usually microwave it and the pieces get hot fast!
Kevin:
Isn’t that a little strange? Let me look on google…
I see a lot of warnings about exploding watermelons…do you worry about that?
Angel:
No. I occasionally burn my mouth, which doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the time I stabbed the roof of my mouth with a potato chip.
Kevin:
I have noticed that some tortilla chips are really thick and hard to chew. Which bran..
Angel:
Actually, not to cut you off, but it was a Lay’s mesquite barbecue chip…one of the thin ones. I bit it just right and had a mouth full of blood for an hour.
Kevin:
Did you go to the hospital!? Would you need a tetanus shot for that?
Angel:
Nope. I had to get a tetanus shot after I tripped and landed on my knee. On a toddler mattress. I couldn’t walk for a week.
Kevin:
I don’t think I understand.
Angel:
The little spring inside the mattress stabbed my kneecap and apparently squished my miniscus. I was painful, but not as bad as the time I was ran over by a canoe.
Kevin:
This conversation.
Angel:
It happened the day before I got married in Hawaii. My fiancee was teaching me to surf, and pushed my surfboard right in front of a outrigger canoe full of tourists. I got caught up on the outrigger line and got a nasty rope shaped bruise.
Kevin:
What’s that smell? Is something burning? Did you just burn the handle on that saucepan!?
Angel:
It doesn’t smell as bad as a sponge does after catching on fire in the microwave.
Kevin:
Can we get back to talking about exploding watermelons?
Angel:
Nope, I’ve gotta go, my milk is starting to get cold.
